my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize