In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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