Dual....:-)
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
