she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
