Having a random hookup so left but love u
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
