I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it's great music for shaving your balls
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
