ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
did i just pee glitter
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
