I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
