i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
