they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
