and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
