Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
id be glad to
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
