I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
