Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
