Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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