Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
