oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
