508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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