we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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