they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
