no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
