sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
