I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
nutella sex= disaster
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
