wakey wakey hands off snakey
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
