On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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