god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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