Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
