Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
