perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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