Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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