yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
