can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
