Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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