i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
