he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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