I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
