Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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