This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
