I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
