What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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