Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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