This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
there is glitter all over my balls
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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