I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
