whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
