The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
