You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
