My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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