My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
