We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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