You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize