You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
