Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
