genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
