i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
